What happened? I blacked out.

A question I'm often asked is how I'm able to run as long/far/much as I do. Especially since I do almost all of my running solo. Its mainly due to what I call hyperfocusing or "zoning out." Sure there is a physical aspect, but once you have trained yourself to a certain point, the physical process of running comes quite easily. Long distance running really is mostly mental. Once the physical endurance has been established, it is a matter of distracting the mind from the actual act of running. You have to block out the pain, the fatigue, the outside elements.

There's a trait common to people with ADHD that is called "hyperfocus." Simply put, when an ADHD person is able to focus on something they enjoy or once they get started on something, they completely zero in on it and will almost have a sort of tunnel vision toward the project/activity. They will stay at it until the task is completed or until someone is able to snap them out of their state of focus. They will focus so heavily on the task at hand that they are sometimes oblivious to things going on around them. My mental state while running is similar to this in a way.

Shortly after starting run, I completely zone out. My mind wanders through the vast reaches of my head, but never settles on any one thing for more than a couple minutes. I'm so far inside my head that I'm often oblivious to things going on in the world around me. Everything physically is set on autopilot and I just go. Sometimes when I return from a run, I can't really remember any detail from the run except the route I took.

Its difficult to explain, but there are times where I start running and then all of a sudden a couple hours later I'm done. Sometimes its almost as if my body leaves to go on a run and my head stays behind to sit on the couch. My head and says "I'll see you in a couple hours" as my body jogs out the door. I seem to detach the actual act of running from my brain while I'm in the act of running. I "forget" I'm even running. This phenomenon always conjures an allusion to the movie Old School. Will Ferrell's is in the debate competition against James Oarville and the question "What is your position on the role of government in supporting innovation in the field of biotechnology?" is asked. Frank takes question and delivers a perfect answer drawing applause from the crowd and a stunned no response from Mr. Oarville. When asked where the answer came from, Frank says, "What happened? I blacked out."

Usually I don't completely "black out" for an entire run though. I have short flashes back to reality. Its at these times that I will pick up on the scenery around me or realize that I forgot to send an important email. During these moments of connectedness is when I will sometimes feel the pain or fatigue of a 3 or 4 hour run. This is when mental fortitude comes into play. I have to ignore the reality or push it away. Slowly it fades out and I'm back into my state of disconnect.

In his book, "The Athlete's Way," Chris Bergland talks about finding your "bliss" or your happy place when exercising. Its what got him through multiple Badwaters, triple ironmans, a treadmill world record, and countless other events/races. I never really understood what he was talking about until I read his book and I realized that my zoning out was actually my way of finding my "bliss."

Racing is a little different. When racing, I can remember minute details of the actual run. I can remember every twist and turn of the course. I can remember elevation changes. I can remember the status of my body at any given point of the race. However, I normally can't tell you about any of the scenery or the people around me. I'll completely miss the guy running in the chicken suit. I'm so focused on the actual running that its the only thing my brain processes. Racing is easy though because it is the payoff you've been training for.

I wish I had a better explanation of what goes on in my mind when I'm running, but its really hard to convert that running experience into words. On saturday I spoke with a fellow ultra runner who is currently training for the Vermont 100 Miler. We were talking about training for ultras and I used the term "zoning out" and he knew exactly what I was talking about. That actually made me feel good to know that someone else out there understands at least a little piece of me. That understanding made me feel normal.

I wish I could tell you exactly how to go about "zoning out," but I have no idea how it works for me or why. Maybe its just the way God wired me. Maybe its because I chewed the paint off of all the Christmas ornaments when I was a baby* and killed the brain cells that cause boredom while exercising. Maybe I'm just crazy.

Ultra Running is definitely not for everyone, but I think the first step is finding a way to disconnect from the actual running.

*true story. My mother still has the ornaments and thoroughly enjoys telling the story every Christmas. If you ever meet her, just ask. Especially around Christmas. She'll probably even show you the ornaments. (Love you mom)